So how did we get here, how did we come to this? Well it’s easy, having to deal when IEP’s SUCKS, having to practically fight for actual services for my child SUCKS, having to worry about my child being at school SUCKS, autism SUCKS basically.
Last week as school started I also started to have this feeling, you know that gut feeling that something isn’t right? Remember that feeling you had when you vaccinated your child? That feeling that something was not quite right? Well that my friends is your mommy gut/intuition telling to get the hell outta that place, in this case school. As I pulled up to our usual parking spot at school where Alex’s aide is always waiting for Alex to walk him into school, might I add that I fought like a beast to be able to get this arrangement. Back to my story, so as I pulled up to the school here come this woman telling me that according to the new principal I can’t do this anymore. That I need find a parking spot, get out of my car and walk Alex in, new rules I guess. Me being the momma that I am, I comply not because she told me to but because it was my plan anyways as it was the first day and I wasn’t sure how Alex would react. As I walked in I spot the new principal and ask him if I can have a word with him. I then walk to Alex’s classroom and realized its a lot bigger than last year. I walk out of his room and look for the principal. As I talked to him about the drop off situation he questions me on why this is necessary. I tell him all the safety reasons why me and 3 kids around moving vehicles is not safe for any of my kids. I also remind him he’s the new guy not us, how much I fought for his arrangement and remind him that Alex’s aide is there because Alex is there, everyone at that place seems to forget that. I also tell him Alex will be leaving school after recess as he is now getting ABA at home. He decides its a smart idea to question my decision, as he’s sure after only having spent 2-3 minutes in Alex’s presence that he knows what’s best for my son. Something that was funny to me was that he didn’t even know what ABA was, yet felt it wasn’t the best option for Alex. Then he says “if you want him out early everyday you’ll need to sign him out at the office”. Yet again we come to the same safety issue that leads to me need help with that. I remind him I have the other two kids and that because of the kids safety I don’t feel comfortable having to take them all out of the car to just sign out. I ask if Cameron can stay with the kids while I run inside to sign out, or if he can bring out the notebook so I can sign him out. He says its a school policy that obviously he’s not willing to change for me. A “school policy” not a district or law, its just his way of saying I’m the boss, deal with it. I quickly realized I was wasting my time and tell him I need an IEP to set up the new schedule for Alex.
At lunch time: I walk in as I do everyday with food in hand eager to see my Alex. I noticed there’s only Alex’s aide watching over all the kids in the cafeteria. No other aides or teacher, only Alex’s aide. When I asked where everyone was he as calmly as he could ( mind you was chasing after children as they tried to run out of the cafeteria time and time again ) tells me that the 2 other aides are at lunch and the teacher is taking kids back to the classroom. Yeah about that, the teacher forgot to tell me lunch time had changed, it’s 15 minutes earlier now. As I sat there with my son while he quietly ate his lunch the other kids screamed, others kept trying to scape it was a mad house. Alex’s aide ran like a mad man behind them, even the custodian came up to him and asked why he was on his own with so many kids. It was while I looked around at the craziness around us that I realized I didn’t want my son around that. It was then when I questioned my decision to send my son to school, I realized school was not a good nor safe place for him.
I sat there with my heart heavy wondering how can it be this way? I never saw this when I was in elementary, why are there so many sick kids now? Why? And most of all why isn’t anyone stopping this? Why aren’t parents listening to parents like me who have been saying for years that vaccines aren’t safe, vaccines are causing autism and a lot more problems that people just seem to be over looking. I stared at my son as he ate and decided I wouldn’t walk out of that school without him.
I see the principal once again and he tried his best to convince me to leave him at school but there was no way that was happening. I came home and thought about everything I had seen, everything I felt, and the more I thought about it the more home schooling felt like the way to go.
The next day came and Alex didn’t go back to school, Alex wasn’t going back. I get a call from school a few days after asking about him and telling me about the IEP meeting they have scheduled for us. The meeting day came but as my decision to home school was taken already I don’t go to the meeting. I had already spoken to his teacher about my decision. They decide they want to call me and tell me the pros and cons of my decision during an IEP I had already told them to cancel. I listen they talk, they talk more I listen. They talk and talk and I listen, once it was all said and done my decision remains firm, I am homeschooling.
It’s very sad that many mothers are taking this decision not because it was our long life dream to home school but because school and their staff make it nearly impossible for our kids to get a real education and real services. It’s a shame that a mother has to fight therefore earning that “pain in the ass” parent label just to get your child a descent IEP. And that’s half the battle, once you have that IEP that actually seems could help your child you now have the fucking task to be the “pain in the ass” parent again and make sure they are actually implementing that IEP. Why should I have to do that? Why? Why are all these people in special education or education for that fact if their main goal isn’t to help kids? Why must I live in fear about my sons wellbeing while he’s at school? Why should I dread having an IEP meeting? Why do I need an advocate just to be able to have an IEP team that follows the law, a law that sometimes I don’t even think they know about. Why must school be so painful?
Well it won’t be anymore, as we are now free, happy and with such a weight off our shoulders. Alex will be home with me and his brother and sister. We will be doing 2-3 hours of ABA daily, getting in contact with the local home schooling community, getting together with my local autism homeschooling mommas and doing field trips with our kids. We will learn the fun and free way, we will nourish the special things about each one of our kids, we will explore and let them be themselves not what society wants/expects from them. We will be learning in a way that’s fun and rewarding. We will be homeschooling as that feels best. I’ve always said that when we follow our intuition, nothing can go wrong!